2020- Shelter in Place

On March 16, 2020 our lives changed in a way that we could have never imagined.   A coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic swept across America.  In response, events started to get canceled, gathering of groups of more than 50 people (and later 10 people) were banned, schools were closed down at first through May 1st and later for the rest of the 2019-2020 School year, churches can't have services...even during holy week, Shelter-in-place orders were put in place in Indiana and we can only travel for essential work or essential activities, grocery stores are sold out of many items - toilet paper, paper towels, sanitizers, soaps, pastas and the list goes on.   I have learned that I took so many things for granted - I had always thought that these virus outbreaks only occurred in other countries, I don't think I even thought -EVER- that there was a potential for one to hit America and hit it this hard.   Right now, my work is considered essential.  However, the Firm divided all employees so that we can only go in on certain days according to preset shifts.  So, I go in on Mondays and Tuesdays but work remotely on Wednesday through Friday.   The kids are 100% e-learning for the remainder of the year.   The boys are struggling without the structure and free time at school.   Drew misses his friends, Conner misses the socializing and Brenna misses everything and everyone.  The big thing is for the kids to have class on a "ZOOM" conference.  The first time Brenna got on and we could see all of the kids and her Kindergarten teachers, it took my breath away.  I could not stop crying.   Living through this pandemic reminds me of the stages of grief and how I personally have dealt with grief.   Most of the time, I try to push it far from my mind, but when something triggers my brain to focus on it, I get very emotional.   I am scared that my kids will get sick and I won't be able to go to the hospital, I am scared our family members may get sick and I haven't been able to see them since the beginning of March, I am scared about the economic repercussions and what is going to be, I am scared of how this social distancing will impact relationships going forward - will we become even more of a virtual society?   HOWEVER,  I am not acting like I am scared.   Instead, on the outside, I am focusing on doing special things with the kids, cooking more, taking more time to read and have deep conversations.   I am so proud of Jason and the kids for how they are handling this.   I hope that one day, when the kids are telling their grandkids about the pandemic, that they remember us - our family - staying strong and enjoying our time together.